Lowell Larson

10:29 pm: Reason #1,245,799 To Love The Internet
Every single Marvel/DC one page Hostess ad

http://www.seanbaby.com/hostess.htm

God I love the internet!!

01:57 pm: This....Is......AWESOME
http://www.wired.com/gadgetlab/2009/08/darth-vader-clock-radio/

06:49 pm: This.....Is......AWESOME!!

06:06 pm: Here Come Da Judge!!
Source: NBC News

Greg Horoski and his wife, Diane Yano-Horoski, were on the verge of being tossed out of their ranch home in East Patchogue. They owed $525,000 in mortgage payments, had no equity on the house, and their California bank threatened foreclosure.

Then Suffolk Judge Jeffrey Spinner gave them a Thanksgiving gift they'll remember all their lives. He erased their debt and slammed their bank, OneWest, for its "harsh, repugnant, shocking and repulsive" behavior, according to The New York Post.

Now Yano-Horoski and her husband owe practically nothing on their home. And OneWest, which accepted a whopping $814.2 million in federal bailout money, was excoriated by the judge.

"The bank was so intransigent that he decided to punish them," Horoski, 55, told the Post about Spinner's ruling last week. "I think the judge felt it was almost a personal vendetta. like dealing with organized crime."

Horoski and his wife had only been paying interest on their mortgage; they had pleaded with OneWest to restructure their loan to no avail. Spinner's decision negated up to $291,000 in principal and $235,000 in interest and penalties, reports the Post.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ZY6qW2Aktk&feature=related

11:30 am: Twilight: Vampires In Heat

04:58 pm: Marriage pacts gone bad
Well this weekend I went to the Chris and Becca wedding....a very nice little ceremony. Christopher was all dressed in his tux and tails and was definately antsy to get it all done with :-). Becca was all "JB, The Pirate Chic"ed out in her Anne Bonny regalia, looking fabulous and antsy to get it all done with :-). The groomsmen and bridesmaids were all dapper, and from now on I'm going to remember a particular young lady as "The Wench Of Honor" :-).

The reception was held in a hall right off from the wedding place, and I took it upon myself to fill up about 5-6 wedding cameras full of pictures for the new couple to develop. DJ Justinsane spun the IPOD with dance tunes and a whole lot of songs from Patrick Swayze movies (rather unintentionally). The food was great, the company was great, the whole shebang was cool. So me and Matt made a toast and said, "Let nothing crappy happen in the next 30+ days so that our last memories of the year will be this happy one of our friends' wedding."

Little did I know that would last a whole 15 hours, as the next morning my brother fell down awkwardly and dislocated his elbow and fractured his wrist to the tune of 2 screws being implanted. Oy Vey!! At least he's back from the hospital now and has an unlimited access to Vicodin. Hope he doesn't turn into House M.D.

Oh well, at least my Godson's another year older today on the anniversary of the Doug Flutie miracle hail mary pass!! Happy B-Day Zach-o!!

02:14 pm: State Of The Art 1980


Damn Romana was fuckin' hot back then.

12:59 am: Short rant on Project Runway
I only watched this season because the much better "Models Of Project Runway" was on afterwards.

04:23 pm: State Of The Art Computing In 1976


This can be done from scratch in about 2 hours now.

01:06 am: But He Didn't Get The Damn Dog!!

11:10 am: They published it today
It's in the A&E section in todays AZ Republic.

07:28 pm: Another One From The Master

11:49 am: :-(
Valley actor Scott C. Jeffers dies at 38
by Kerry Lengel - Nov. 2, 2009 05:32 PM
The Arizona Republic

Valley actor Scott C. Jeffers died Saturday, Oct. 31, after he was rushed to the hospital following a performance in Tempe. He was 38.

Jeffers was starring as the lion in the Childsplay musical "Androcles and the Lion," which held its opening performance Saturday afternoon. The cause of death has not been determined.

Jeffers, an Arizona native who graduated from Washington High School in Phoenix, was a regular with Stray Cat Theatre, acting in shows including "An Impending Rupture of the Belly" and "Blackbird." He also appeared recently in "Talk Radio" at Chyro Arts Venue.

He was well-known in the theater community not only as an actor but as a sales staffer at Easley's Fun Shop in Phoenix, a common stop for last-minute additions to costumes or makeup.

He was also a talented magician, guitarist and singer, said Stray Cat artistic director Ron May - and a huge karaoke fan.

"There was a while that every Saturday you could find every theater person in town at (now closed) Hamburger Mary's" for karaoke, May said. "He kind of made it cool to go do it. He was such a good singer and such a huge entertainer that he kind of would break the ice."

The news came as a shock to Childsplay, which canceled performances of "Androcles" for Sunday, Nov. 1, but will be back this weekend with a replacement actor.

The show's director, D. Scott Withers, said the part of the lion was perfect for Jeffers because it let him show off his musical talents.

"He was just charming in this role. He really shined," he said.

Jeffers is survived by his parents, Ken and Sarah Jeffers, sisters Stephanie Jeffers and Skeeter Schneider, and brothers Bill and John Jeffers.

Services will be held at 10 a.m. Saturday, Nov. 14, at the Tempe Center for the Arts.

01:34 am: November

03:57 am: Scott Jeffers
It was only one hour ago
It was all so different then
There's nothing yet has really sunk in
Looks like it always did
This flesh and bone
It's just the way that you would tied in
Now there's no-one home

I grieve for you
You leave me
'so hard to move on
Still loving what's gone
They say life carries on
Carries on and on and on and on

The news that truly shocks is the empty empty page
While the final rattle rocks it's empty empty cage
And i can't handle this

I grieve for you
You leave me
Let it out and move on
Missing what's gone
They say life carries on
They say life carries on and on and on

Life carries on
In the people i meet
In everyone that's out on the street
In all the dogs and cats
In the flies and rats
In the rot and the rust
In the ashes and the dust
Life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on

It's just the car that we ride in
A home we reside in
The face that we hide in
The way we are tied in
And life carries on and on and on and on
Life carries on and on and on

Did I dream this belief?
Or did i believe this dream?
Now i can find relief
I grieve

11:08 am: Sign it conservatives!! Lol!!
A HEALTH CARE PLEDGE FOR CONSERVATIVES
by Larry Rolirad

As a Conservative who DOES NOT have Health Insurance:

I, ___________, do hereby pledge to refuse all health care paid for by the government. I pledge if I become sick, or a member of my family becomes sick, that I will refuse to be treated by any doctor, hospital or emergency personnel if the cost for these services will in any way be subsidized by a state or federal government.

I, ___________, do hereby pledge to wait one year from the time of my first symptoms until I go to the emergency room of a government-funded county hospital because I believe the 45,000 people who die every year due to inability to access quality health care deserve to die, after all, they are really deadbeats who could afford health insurance if they wanted it.

I, ___________, do hereby pledge to never accept any medical technologies, innovations, treatments or medications that were paid for, subsidized or developed using government funds because I believe them to be 'socialistic' and therefor evil. I know capitalistic 'for profit' companies will always act in the best interests of human beings, and never attempt to profit off of a person who is sick or dying.

I, ___________, do hereby pledge to continue to support the pharmaceutical industry making profits of 77 billion a year by overcharging for drugs and thereby preventing people from obtaining drugs to stay alive. As a conservative, I believe if a person can not afford medications they deserve to die because I believe 'poverty' or being a member of the working poor should be a capital offense. As a conservative I also support the current system where pharmaceutical companies spend more on advertising drugs than they do for research and development of drugs.

I, ___________, do hereby pledge that if I am too sick to go to the hospital I will not call a government sponsored '911' program, because I believe such emergency services to be 'socialistic' and therefore 'evil. I furthermore pledge to just sit in my house and die along with the other 45,000 people who die each year due to lack of access to health care if I cannot afford life-saving medical treatment.


As a Conservative who DOES HAVE have Health Insurance:

I, ___________, do hereby pledge to never disagree if my insurance company refuses to pay a valid claim, for I know they would never do anything to hurt another human being for money.

I, ___________, do hereby pledge to remain subservient to my insurance company and will never disagree if they refuse to pay for a valid claim by stating that it is related to a 'pre-existing condition', even if the condition has nothing to do with my current illness.

I, ___________, do hereby pledge to always agree with my insurance company even if they use some obscure loophole intentionally inserted into my policy to deceive me and to prevent me from getting the health care I need to remain alive.

I, ___________, do hereby pledge that I will not accept medical treatment until such treatment is first approved by an insurance representative, even if I know that the representative is rewarded financially for denying valid services to me or my family. I will readily and eagerly accept the decisions of the thousands of current 'death panels' used by insurance companies so they can make even bigger profits off of those they victimize.

I, ___________, do hereby pledge to continue to believe in tort reform and to never hold an insurance company liable or to seek justice in a court of law, even if their acts are criminal, deceptive or if their dishonest acts lead to the death of one of my family members.

I, ___________, do hereby pledge to not accept medical treatment even if I need life saving emergency treatment if those treatments are not first approved by an insurance bureaucrat. I refuse to admit that insurance companies are already using 'death panels' to kill people for profit.


FINALLY, as a CONSERVATIVE:

I, ___________, as a conservative who believes everyone should be independent and that no one ever falls on hard times in their lives, do hereby pledge that if I break any of the pledges above and receive any medical care for me or my family that I will agree to sell my house, use my retirement, sell my automobiles, cash in my children's college funds and use all of my assets to pay every dime of what I owe, even if my family and I are left destitute and homeless. I further pledge to repay every dime I make working at a burger joint or as a greeter at Walmart to first repay my medical bills before buying food or housing for my family. I further pledge to pay any interest rate on any balances due, because I believe corporations and banks should be allowed to charge anything they want, even interest rates of 30, 40 and 50%, rates even the Mafia never charged. I believe in unbridled capitalism and that companies should be allowed to do whatever they want, for I consider capitalism to be my 'god' and CEOs its disciples. I hereby further pledge to praise CEO salaries and bonuses even though I know that for every dollar they make is a dollar that doesn't go to help the sick or dying. And because I was against all minimum wage increases in the past 40 years I further pledge to accept only $1.45 an hour for working at McDonalds or as a Walmart greeter, since it was the minimum wage in February 1970.

I, ___________, as a conservative, hereby pledge to have my parents, or other loved ones, refuse all health care they are currently receiving from any government program, such as Medicare or Medicaid, and I further pledge to pay for all my parent's health bills. And I will further pledge to have my parents move in with me and give them 24 hour care instead of using any government subsidized nursing care or hospice care services, since I know such services are evil since they are 'socialistic' and therefore evil.

I, ___________, as a conservative do hereby pledge I will continue my condemnations of the poor in the Charles Dickens story, "A Christmas Carol", because I know Bob Cratchit's family were lazy deadbeats who could pay for their own health care and gotten help for their son, Tiny Tim, if they wanted to. I believe Tiny Tim should be prevented from getting health care and die, because he is poor.

I, _________, as a conservative believe in individual rights for CEOs and business owners like Ebenezer Scrooge, but not for individual rights to life, liberty or the pursuit of happiness for those who are poor, downtrodden or oppressed. Also, because I believe the poor in the Bible were deadbeats, I will continue to condemn Jesus because he was an evil socialist because he healed the sick for free, he fed the hungry for free and he lifted the spirits of the downtrodden for free. I also condemn the Good Samaritan for not charging to help that poor, beaten man who was left for dead on the side of a lonely road. I believe that the priest and the temple assistant who first found the beaten man and left him for dead without helping him did the right thing and that the Good Samaritan was an evil socialist, because not only did the Good Samaritan help the beaten man, he even gave him money so he could feed and cloth himself.

I, _________, as a conservative further condemn Jesus for always attacking the rich and praising the poor, because I know CEOs and the wealthy are the true children of god because, after all, look at how much 'god' has rewarded them. As a conservative, I believe those on Wall Street deserve to make as much money as possible by using schemes and scams, like hedge fund manager John Paulson, who made 3.7 billion in 2007 alone for betting against homeowners, shareholders and other hard working Americans. As a conservative I believe people like Mr. Paulson should retain their 'right' to make 3.7 billion behind a computer producing nothing for his fellow man or society. As a conservative, I believe Wall Street executives should be paid 105,615 times more than hard working teachers, firefighters, police officers and nurses, even though I know they actually contribute to society and help their fellow man, while Wall Street executives produce nothing for society. As a conservative, I believe greed is a virtue, while helping others as teacher and nurses do, are really suckers and losers, because I equate 'success' with a person's ability to make money.

I, _________, as a conservative who always trusts the government to start wars, trusts government to bomb people, trusts government to spy on people, trusts government to incarcerate people without charges, trusts government to torture people, trusts government to arrest people without warrants and trusts government to use secret wiretaps on people, do hereby pledge to continue to distrust government to help heal sick and dying Americans. I fear government intrusion into my life, but I cheer on corporate intrusions on my privacy, my livelihood, and my life. I fear any government attempt to heal people, yet trust government to kill, maim, torture, arrest, incarcerate and execute people.

I, ________, as a conservative, make these pledges in the name of the 'god of unbridled, unregulated capitalism' and in the names of its disciples, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck. Amen and amen.

02:50 pm: Vampire Haiku
Discarded band-aids
Are rare unexpected treats
My version of gum

04:12 pm: Another Lost Weekend.......Hell Yeah!!
Went to California with Matt last weekend........

Friday--Hotel and REPO!
So we arrived at our hotel that Bill's girl set up for us....what a dump. I mean really, just how we survived with two deluxe king-size beds, high definition TV with multimedia hook-ups built in on the desk, heated pool, concierge, hot chicks everywhere....yep we just had to rough it (BIG thanks to Bill's girl for the GREAT room). In case you still don't get it, we got a 500 dollar a night room and service for a little under 100. Pays to know people.

After the hotel we did some of our typical L.A. shit (Ameoba and an alien invasion motifed Fry's Electronics) and went to see REPO!. Spooky Dan was there in his wizard costume, Emma and non-spooky Dan and Bill and his girl were there also, and everyone laughed at my AP lines, and I drooled at some of their GenTerns....typical good REPO! show. People say that REPO! won't be as big as Rocky, and they're right. But I'm of the opinion that if this movie came out in say 1995....it would be huge and still playing at midnights today.

Saturday--Fat fucks on a rampage and Rocky Horror
Today was the day that Matt and I discovered that Shakey's Pizza has an all-you-can-eat buffet from 11a-2p. The joint definately lost money on our fat asses as we easily chomped through a multitude of pizza, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, mojo's, etc. etc. I now know how Mr. Creosote felt as I'm certain if I ate just a wafer-thin mint after that debacle, I would have exploded. Barely made it out the door to do more typical L.A. shit (Ameoba, Rockaway, etc.).

Then it was time to hook up with hot Jenna and her hot friend Loni and head to the Rocky Horror Picture Show at the NuArt. Had loads of fun screaming my damn fool head off and being warned by others about how the Rocky Horror Tribute Show at Universal Studios(see Sunday) would probably kick my ass out....they were wrong, DEAD WRONG!! Matt tried to get Jenna and Loni to crash at our bitchin' room because 1...it was late, 2...pea soup fog was out in force, 3...did I mention they were hot?......but it wasn't meant to be. Oh well, we needed the rest for Sunday.

Sunday--Universal Studios Halloween Horror Night a.k.a. Disneyland Sucks!!
The whole reason for going to Cali this weekend was to go to Univeral Studios Halloween Horror Night, a little event during the Halloween season where they gore up the park at night for the adults. We got there in the late afternoon in time to ride The Simpsons ride and damn that was fun. It was basically the same damn ride as The Back To The Future ride but instead of BTTF, it was a Simpsons cartoon. I love those motion rides but Matt had a bad time with it. Justin, if you haven't been there yet....GO!!

When 6pm hit, they kicked everyone out of the park to set it up for Horror Night. Then at 7pm, they let the adults back in. OMG these guys did a great job. There were Mike Meyers, chainsaw maniacs, maniacs with knives, maniacs on stilts, and zombie maniacs running around the park scaring the shit out of everybody. Dead bodies were everywhere, and I had to get into the act and spent half the time zombie walking. Dry ice fog was everywhere, and right at the entrance there was a Rob Zombie dude talking about hellfire while dancing bloody rag girls were looking all hot in cages. After we saw this it was time to hit the rides and 2 of the events......

Rocky Horror Tribute Show
We hit this one twice. We were right there for the 1st show of the night(7pm). I really wasn't going to do any AP stuff until the Magenta encouraged it before they seated us...good move Mags. Now these people doing the show are PROFESSIONALS who have been doing this show 6-7 times a night for the last 2 weeks and I still broke their Frank and Riff-Raff(who physically laughed and called me a jackass....thanks for the praise!!). The crowd and ushers ate the shit up and gave me high fives and kissed my ass after the show. Mission accomplished. Matt has this thing recorded and I'm sure he'll eventually post it.
For the 2nd show we went to(11pm),I REALLY didn't want to do any lines, I just wanted to watch, but the ushers knew us from the show hours ago and insisted I do lines, but the performers wanted me to not do them during their musical numbers, so I obliged and only AP the film parts and still cracked up the house. As for the tribute itself, it was marvelous, they covered the basics (no Eddie or Dr. Scott though) and the trannies were dressed like trixies and were HOT!! They all were great singers and even the Rocky(who was built like a brick shithouse) could belt out the tunes and dance. Damn it was great!!

Universal Halloween Tram
The typical ride takes you through the studio...blah blah blah....not THIS time. The tram stops about 5 minutes in and you get to walk through a murder filled city, the fuckin' Bates' Motel(with you know who running around with a knife) and a life sized crashed 747 with zombies and military men running around. Jesus, this was the best tram event EVER!!

Jurassic Park Ride At Night
Just what it is...Jurassic Park in the dark=AWESOME!! Got soaked big time in the splashdowns on the ride. Good times.

Bill And Ted's Excellent Halloween Adventure
It was getting close to the end of the night in the park and Matt wanted to see this, and I reluctantly agreed.....but DAMN WHAT A SHOW!! Who knew you could fit every single damn current event into a singing/dancing extravaganza. All the chicks were hot in this thing(especially the "Uhura" chick), and I was convinced that this was, indeed, a most excellent adventure. WYLD STALLYNS!!

Then we shuffled back home to Phoenix with the incredible weekend playing on in our minds.

12:16 am: How to not make friends and influence people
Leonard Cohen Live At The Isle Of Wight 1970

So Justin and I chug along to MADCAP Theater to go see the new Leonard Cohen DVD projected on a big movie screen. The tickets were free from Zia's so can you guess how many people showed up? If you guessed 5 you are correct......seriously, 5?? Way to promote a free show Zia's. But that's o.k. it just meant that I could quietly sing along with the show without anyone giving me a sideways glance. All in all, for a 1970 show, it was a very good audio mix, the video part....eh...but all in all a good representation of what went on at the Woodstock of Europe. It was funny that I pointed out to Justin that Charlie Daniels(of Devil Went Down To Georgia fame) was the backup bass/violin player for the show).

After the show I talked to the few people that were there....and maybe I shouldn't have. I told a guy wearing a Kurt Cobain shirt that I had the exact same shirt except that I drew a shotgun blast in red on his face. He didn't like me fucking with his "hero". But y'know, fuck him. Kurt was a lucky bastard. He wasn't the guy that created the Seattle scene, he was the guy that benifitted most from it. Mother Love Bone, Soundgarden, Alice In Chains, and eventually Pearl Jam were all better than Nirvana.....Fact. Nirvana had to change their punk roots to a more mainstream rock sound and found a niche to exploit, their albums before Nevermind were way better. So really, I don't mind making morbid humor out of Kurt's death. Ah well, better luck next time.

Then I find out that Garth Brooks is upset that iTunes is basically a singles hit machine of the digital age? Duh, Mr. Brooks. In case you didn't notice, the 45 single is dead. But then he lashes out saying that you as a consumer should have to load up the whole album of material from the artist if you just want a single from them? What the hell is he smoking? Go do your little 5-year stint in Vegas and shut the fuck up Garth....seriously. Your friends in low places can kiss my fat ass......rant over.

01:30 am: Friday/Saturday....Night/Day
Friday----Rocky Horror Show in Prescott....The Horror!!

So there I was....in Prescott Valley....with Matt, Mandy, and some good friends from Flagstaff, hoping to see a good play production of the Rocky Horror Show, only to see what was an incredible train wreck of a play. I know it was their 1st performance and all but GODDAMN it sucked lizard shit. And not even the good lizard shit, I'm talkin' the lizard shit that was pooped under a rock and left to rot for 2 years in the underbelly of the desert heat. Not a single main character could stay in tune on any song they sung. The only good part I could say that was in any way redeeming on this is the piano player was da bomb......THAT'S IT!! If this troupe had any understudies at all, they had to have committed suicide knowing that this wretched hive of cat strangling warbling was deemed better than them. I had to stay far away from the theater after the show so's I wouldn't have to reply to any castmember's, "Soo, what'd you think of the show?" with a gallon of puke on their shoes. In the end, I was praying for lightning to strike the theater and put and end to this farce that appeared before me. God help me it was that bad. My hope for Rocky Horror fun was dashed on the rocks and the only thing that could possibly save it was...............

Saturday----Rocky Horror Poolside Party!!!....FUCK YEAH!!

Saturday night was a special private party Rocky Horror Picture Show screening. And brotha, this shit was the tits!! Good lord I'd have to say that this was one of the best Rocky experiences I've ever been involved with!! I can only explain it as best I can here......It was a private party in Mesa being thrown by a gentlemen who wanted a complete Rocky Horror experience for his guests....and we gave it 'em in spades. The movie was projected on a sheet covered wall next to the pool on the left side, while it was being shadowcasted on the right side by CAYA, and me being the callback master that I am spent the whole damn movie doing callbacks and screen gags whilst IN THE POOL!! Everyone, and I mean everyone, in the audience was groovin' and lovin' every damn second of the show. I had my ass kissed so much it took me two days to wash the lipstick off. Our gracious party host made some hella good props and Frank jacket that he donated to the cast....other people dressed to kill as Magenta, Frank, and Colombia donated some (and in Magenta's case all) of their dynamite costumes.....the prop bags were the shit also!! I have to add that in the end, the cast did a screen accurate pool scene(except for the ladies that didn't want to get their hair wet). It was rather amazing to see "Wild And Untamed Thing" being performed with foot splashing wet and wild abandonment. I have come to the conclusion that we need a pool installed in the theater for future performances.....I've got to win the damn lottery.